Being petty with semantics isn't going to get you out of the dog-house It could, and I think it should, get your whole damn dog-house thrown out of the yard.
Failure to think does not = lack of betrayal. At most it may mitigate the damage and hurt caused. Still stuck on the fact that an act, a statement, a whatever counts as a betrayal despite the fact that you certainly, without any doubt ever intended to betray the person? Suck it up because it damn well does count.
No need to take my word on it, plenty of dictionaries and references to back up my title for this post. I've embedded a few defintions for those honestly wondering what the hell betray, betrayal, and betrayed even mean now that I've made such a big deal about it. And I've linked to more for those determined to quibble about terminology because obviously I did cherry pick the included defintions to illustrate my intended point - knowledge is not a necessity nor is intent.
On the flipside ~ just because someone feels betrayed does not necessarily mean that you betrayed them. But you need to deal with the actual hurt and not argue over the word if you want to pursue a healthy relationship with that person. If the word itself is something you think needs to be more clearly defined between yourselves, that probably good BUT not until the timing is right meaning the issue of betrayal is not currently at issue or still smarting and things are in a relatively calm good place.
To Betray and Betrayal Briefly Defined
Betrayal
- Form of deception or dismissal of prior presumptions, is the breaking or violation of a presumptive social contract (trust, or confidence) that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship.
- To break (a promise) or be disloyal to (a person's trust)
- Disappoint the hopes or expectations of; be disloyal to: to betray one's friends
- To be unfaithful in guarding, maintaining, or fulfilling: to betray a trust.
- Disclose or discover, as something which prudence would conceal; to reveal unintentionally ~ note this is very different than the following defintion
- to reveal unconsciously (something one would preferably conceal): Her nervousness betrays her insecurity.
Screw it, I'm getting sick thinking about it, so I'm done with linking to definitons. Feel free to outsource me, it's my sandbox and I don't give a shit. You've got my theory & advice, defintions and I'll leave you with some more links with precisely pithy titles for your convenience.
Articles on Betrayal, Attitudes, Thinking, and Behavior
- Broken Trust - Effects of Betrayal
- The Betari Box - The Link Between Attitude and Behavior
- Rationalization Trap
- Counterfactual Thinking - Power To Change Our Actual Memories
- Trust and Betrayal in Relationships
- Recovering from a Breakup ~ How-To Cope Emotionally ~ 7 Key Words
- Back into the Dating Game ~ Avoid Finding Potential Partners Similiar to the Betrayer ~ Advice from CupidsReviews
- and for all the wannabe jackasses out there ~ How-To Inflict Pain By Betrayal
